Woody's World of Penis Euphemisms!
Published Thursday, March 02, 2006 by Reynold Thurman.
This site features too many notable euphemisms to only display a few here. Check out the site for the full effect. It is work safe.
Woody's World of Penis Euphemisms!
Woody's World of Penis Euphemisms!
Epic - WTF?
Published Monday, January 09, 2006 by Reynold Thurman.
In the year 2014, The New York Times has gone offline. The Fourth Estate's fortunes have waned. What happened to the news, and what is Epic?
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Finally, a great smelling shampoo that also kills cockroaches
Published Wednesday, March 02, 2005 by Reynold Thurman.
BJP makes a pitch for cow dung products:
[India News]: New Delhi, Feb.26 : Guess what the BJP is doing in its lean days? Selling cow-based shampoos, oils and detergents. These now vie for space with pictures of the party's former poster boys A B Vajpayee and L K Advani at the stall at the party headquarters on 11 Ashoka Road. The stall, which usually sells photographs of party stalwarts besides books and pamphlets, has begun stocking shampoos, oils and detergents, all made from cow products like milk, butter, cowdung and cow urine. These are all from the Kanpur Goshala and have been an instant hit. Detergents and soaps have already gone out of stock, just a week after sales opened.
The range includes 'go-mootra'-based phenyl (Rs 20) that claims to kill mosquitoes, cockroaches and other pests; there is Mukta, a cowdung-based dish-cleaner for Rs 10; a panchgavya sandal soap for Rs 12; a Goratna aftershave for Rs 20, made from five cow products (urine, dung, milk, butter and ghee); Nikhar face-cream for Rs 25; and Shubhra Neel (indigo) for Rs 10. The detergent was not available and only a couple of packets of the ash-coloured vessel cleaner were left.
The brain behind the promotion of these products is Prakriti Bharati - an NGO supported by the RSS. "We are selling them here as we already have a counter and the public has easy access. It's definitely not part of any party strategy to promote cow products," said party secretary Shyam Jaju.
Media officer Sidharth Singh is more forthcoming. "The party has always been a strong believer in swadeshi. And if our workers are promoting the village industry and cow products from a goshala, why not?" he asks.
Prakriti Bharati's spokesman in Delhi is Virendra Singh Chehal, secretary to party spokesman Mukhtar Abbas Naqvi. "Bharati has nothing to do with BJP or RSS. We would love to sell our goods at the AICC office if they let us," he says. "What has the cow's economic and scientific value got to do with parties?"
Naqvi adds it's a "good thing if swadeshi is promoted. Sister organisations are involved and some party workers are also in it. So, it has been allowed." (ANI)
Typical Uses for Cowdung
1. Fuel - cow dung patties (gootte) for cooking
2. Fertilizer - composting makes it even more powerful
3. Heat source - cow dung is naturally hot -compost makes hotter put in glass house to heat glass house or run pipes thru it to get hot water.
3. Purifier - natural antiseptic qualities
4. Floor coating - used mixed with mud and water on floors in mud houses. Improves water absorption of mud. Prevents muddy puddles resulting from spilt water.
5. Mud brick additive - improves resistance to disintegration
6. Skin tonic - mixed with crushed neem leaves smeared on skin - good for boils and heat rash (SP used it for heat rash in Mayapur.)
7. Smoke producer - smoldering cow patties keep away mosquitoes. Can also make smoked paneer over such smoke. Tastes great in pasta!
8. Pot cleaner - used dry absorbs oil and fat wet as a general cleaner
9. Brass polisher - tamarind removes oxidation - wet ashes polishes
10. Fertilizer - alkaline - cow dung ash is basically lime with a few other mineral mixed in
11. Mud additive - dries up slippery mud puddles
12. Mud brick additive - mud and lime (cow dung ashes) becomes like cement
13. Pond PH balancer - thrown into pond neutralizes acid.
14. Tooth polish -
15. Sun-dried organic recreational-aerodynamic-device -cow patty Frisbees ;)
16. Fan for fire - large cow patties can be used as make shift fans.
17. Deity worship - ingredient in panca gavya
18. Hair gel - keeps a long lasting hold on thin, medium, and thick hair
19. Creme filling for Goetze Caramel Cremes
[India News]: New Delhi, Feb.26 : Guess what the BJP is doing in its lean days? Selling cow-based shampoos, oils and detergents. These now vie for space with pictures of the party's former poster boys A B Vajpayee and L K Advani at the stall at the party headquarters on 11 Ashoka Road. The stall, which usually sells photographs of party stalwarts besides books and pamphlets, has begun stocking shampoos, oils and detergents, all made from cow products like milk, butter, cowdung and cow urine. These are all from the Kanpur Goshala and have been an instant hit. Detergents and soaps have already gone out of stock, just a week after sales opened.
The range includes 'go-mootra'-based phenyl (Rs 20) that claims to kill mosquitoes, cockroaches and other pests; there is Mukta, a cowdung-based dish-cleaner for Rs 10; a panchgavya sandal soap for Rs 12; a Goratna aftershave for Rs 20, made from five cow products (urine, dung, milk, butter and ghee); Nikhar face-cream for Rs 25; and Shubhra Neel (indigo) for Rs 10. The detergent was not available and only a couple of packets of the ash-coloured vessel cleaner were left.
The brain behind the promotion of these products is Prakriti Bharati - an NGO supported by the RSS. "We are selling them here as we already have a counter and the public has easy access. It's definitely not part of any party strategy to promote cow products," said party secretary Shyam Jaju.
Media officer Sidharth Singh is more forthcoming. "The party has always been a strong believer in swadeshi. And if our workers are promoting the village industry and cow products from a goshala, why not?" he asks.
Prakriti Bharati's spokesman in Delhi is Virendra Singh Chehal, secretary to party spokesman Mukhtar Abbas Naqvi. "Bharati has nothing to do with BJP or RSS. We would love to sell our goods at the AICC office if they let us," he says. "What has the cow's economic and scientific value got to do with parties?"
Naqvi adds it's a "good thing if swadeshi is promoted. Sister organisations are involved and some party workers are also in it. So, it has been allowed." (ANI)
Typical Uses for Cowdung
1. Fuel - cow dung patties (gootte) for cooking
2. Fertilizer - composting makes it even more powerful
3. Heat source - cow dung is naturally hot -compost makes hotter put in glass house to heat glass house or run pipes thru it to get hot water.
3. Purifier - natural antiseptic qualities
4. Floor coating - used mixed with mud and water on floors in mud houses. Improves water absorption of mud. Prevents muddy puddles resulting from spilt water.
5. Mud brick additive - improves resistance to disintegration
6. Skin tonic - mixed with crushed neem leaves smeared on skin - good for boils and heat rash (SP used it for heat rash in Mayapur.)
7. Smoke producer - smoldering cow patties keep away mosquitoes. Can also make smoked paneer over such smoke. Tastes great in pasta!
8. Pot cleaner - used dry absorbs oil and fat wet as a general cleaner
9. Brass polisher - tamarind removes oxidation - wet ashes polishes
10. Fertilizer - alkaline - cow dung ash is basically lime with a few other mineral mixed in
11. Mud additive - dries up slippery mud puddles
12. Mud brick additive - mud and lime (cow dung ashes) becomes like cement
13. Pond PH balancer - thrown into pond neutralizes acid.
14. Tooth polish -
15. Sun-dried organic recreational-aerodynamic-device -cow patty Frisbees ;)
16. Fan for fire - large cow patties can be used as make shift fans.
17. Deity worship - ingredient in panca gavya
18. Hair gel - keeps a long lasting hold on thin, medium, and thick hair
19. Creme filling for Goetze Caramel Cremes
I Have Come to a Crossroad in My Journey
Published Wednesday, February 23, 2005 by Reynold Thurman.
I believe it is now time for us to reveal what this site is actually about; I, Reynold Thurman, am newly inducted Raelian. Here is the rock of my belief system.
On the 13th of December 1973, French journalist Rael was contacted by a visitor from another planet, and asked to establish an Embassy to welcome these people back to Earth.
The extra-terrestrial was about four feet in height, had long dark hair, almond shaped eyes, olive skin and exuded harmony and humour. He told Rael that:
"we were the ones who made all life on earth"
"you mistook us for gods"
"we were at the origin of your main religions"
"Now that you are mature enough to understand this,
we would like to enter official contact through an embassy"
THE MESSAGES
The messages dictated to Rael explain how life on Earth is not the result of random evolution, nor the work of a supernatural 'God'. It is a deliberate creation, using DNA,by a scientifically advanced people who made human beings literally "in their image" what one can call "scientific creationism". References to these scientists and their work, as well as to their symbol of infinity can be found in the ancient texts of many cultures. For example, in Genesis, the biblical account of creation, the word "Elohim" has been mistranslated as "God" in the singular, but it is a plural, which means "those who came from the sky".
Leaving our humanity to progress by itself, the Elohim nevertheless maintained contact with us via prophets including Buddha, Moses, Jesus, Mohammed and Seal all specially chosen and educated by them. The role of the prophets was to progressively educate humanity through the messages they taught, each time adapted to the culture and level of understanding at the time. They were also to leave traces of the Elohim so that we would be able to recognise them as our creators and fellow human beings when we had advanced enough scientifically to understand them.
THE EMBASSY
Now that Man has put his foot on the moon, and our scientists are creating life through the synthesis of DNA, we are finally capable of understanding our creators rationally instead of mystifying and dumbly adoring them. For this reason the Elohim have contacted Rael. They have asked him to make their final message known throughout the world and to establish an embassy for them where they will officially meet with us and our world governments.
WHY DO THEY NEED AN EMBASSY?
They are not invaders. They have shown their desire to come but they respect our choice to say no. It is up to us to invite them - and our invitation is the embassy. It's the least we can do.
Without the neutrality of an embassy, free air space and an official welcome, an unannounced and undesired landing would have enormous political, economic and social repercussions with disastrous consequences world-wide. Nor do they wish to endorse any government, religion or ideology other than that of the Raelian Philosophy, by contacting any other institution first. Thus they will only come when we build their embassy, such is their love and respect for us.
Following the extra-terrestrial's instructions, Rael established the Raelian Movement, an international organization to bring together anyone who wishes to help.
It is an atheist, non-profit, spiritual organisation; "atheist" because it demystifies the old concept of god, "spiritual" because it links us with our creators and infinity, and "non-profit" because no member gets paid any salary, not even Rael himself.
It is a completely open organization designed not to convince people, but to allow those who wish to help, to join or leave anytime.
AIMSIts aims are:
- To inform without convincing.
- To establish the embassy.
- To catalyse a society adapted to the future.
In the message which they dictated to Rael, which he has now published as a series of books, they kindly bring us a new vision of the universe, which provides us with the keys to awakening our own potential and a series of values to revolutionise society.
We are born into this world so full of blaring contradictions and injustices that we don't even notice them, we have got used to walking with our eyes half shut, ready to cut out suffering and pain brought about by the prejudice, greed and ignorance so inherent in the fear ridden old world. But now a new dawn is rising, we can open our eyes to the reality around us and take action to challenge the corruption and despair with hope and purity, backed by the power of science. Bio and nano-technology can bring food and health to everyone, it can remove the need for human labor and therefore break our slavery towards a monetary system and its lords, no one need belong to another or waste their lives away doing work they don't like. The accent can go on fulfilment and pleasure instead of on duty and survival. But this takes vigilance to see through the illusions of conformity and disillusions of normality, consciousness to act according to the bigger picture, and courage to challenge the old habits passed down unquestioned for generations, so as to bit by bit, paint a new multi-coloured tapestry of humanity, giving people freedom and choice to be themselves and fulfil themselves just for the pure pleasure of being.
This new philosophy, where spirituality and science meet, is taught at international seminars on every continent and is the final ingredient necessary to ignite a personal and global revolution of individuality, freedom, love and respect. It is already sweeping the globe and allowing humanity to transform war into peace, labour into leisure, poverty into fulfilment and money into love. The Raelian revolution is made up of people from all walks of life, from all sexual orientations, from all races, all ages, everyone different and fiercely non conformist, turning everything they touch into fun and pleasure.
Check your old religious writings, check out the latest scientific discoveries, check out the UFOlogical evidence and our bibliography and you will find that they are all increasingly supporting the Raelian Message.
And most important of all, read the book "The Message Given by Extra-Terrestrials" which will revolutionize your thinking, transform your life and which is already changing the world. You can download this book as well as all other books written by Rael for free by clicking here.
On the 13th of December 1973, French journalist Rael was contacted by a visitor from another planet, and asked to establish an Embassy to welcome these people back to Earth.
The extra-terrestrial was about four feet in height, had long dark hair, almond shaped eyes, olive skin and exuded harmony and humour. He told Rael that:
"we were the ones who made all life on earth"
"you mistook us for gods"
"we were at the origin of your main religions"
"Now that you are mature enough to understand this,
we would like to enter official contact through an embassy"
THE MESSAGES
The messages dictated to Rael explain how life on Earth is not the result of random evolution, nor the work of a supernatural 'God'. It is a deliberate creation, using DNA,by a scientifically advanced people who made human beings literally "in their image" what one can call "scientific creationism". References to these scientists and their work, as well as to their symbol of infinity can be found in the ancient texts of many cultures. For example, in Genesis, the biblical account of creation, the word "Elohim" has been mistranslated as "God" in the singular, but it is a plural, which means "those who came from the sky".
Leaving our humanity to progress by itself, the Elohim nevertheless maintained contact with us via prophets including Buddha, Moses, Jesus, Mohammed and Seal all specially chosen and educated by them. The role of the prophets was to progressively educate humanity through the messages they taught, each time adapted to the culture and level of understanding at the time. They were also to leave traces of the Elohim so that we would be able to recognise them as our creators and fellow human beings when we had advanced enough scientifically to understand them.
THE EMBASSY
Now that Man has put his foot on the moon, and our scientists are creating life through the synthesis of DNA, we are finally capable of understanding our creators rationally instead of mystifying and dumbly adoring them. For this reason the Elohim have contacted Rael. They have asked him to make their final message known throughout the world and to establish an embassy for them where they will officially meet with us and our world governments.
WHY DO THEY NEED AN EMBASSY?
They are not invaders. They have shown their desire to come but they respect our choice to say no. It is up to us to invite them - and our invitation is the embassy. It's the least we can do.
Without the neutrality of an embassy, free air space and an official welcome, an unannounced and undesired landing would have enormous political, economic and social repercussions with disastrous consequences world-wide. Nor do they wish to endorse any government, religion or ideology other than that of the Raelian Philosophy, by contacting any other institution first. Thus they will only come when we build their embassy, such is their love and respect for us.
Following the extra-terrestrial's instructions, Rael established the Raelian Movement, an international organization to bring together anyone who wishes to help.
It is an atheist, non-profit, spiritual organisation; "atheist" because it demystifies the old concept of god, "spiritual" because it links us with our creators and infinity, and "non-profit" because no member gets paid any salary, not even Rael himself.
It is a completely open organization designed not to convince people, but to allow those who wish to help, to join or leave anytime.
AIMSIts aims are:
- To inform without convincing.
- To establish the embassy.
- To catalyse a society adapted to the future.
In the message which they dictated to Rael, which he has now published as a series of books, they kindly bring us a new vision of the universe, which provides us with the keys to awakening our own potential and a series of values to revolutionise society.
We are born into this world so full of blaring contradictions and injustices that we don't even notice them, we have got used to walking with our eyes half shut, ready to cut out suffering and pain brought about by the prejudice, greed and ignorance so inherent in the fear ridden old world. But now a new dawn is rising, we can open our eyes to the reality around us and take action to challenge the corruption and despair with hope and purity, backed by the power of science. Bio and nano-technology can bring food and health to everyone, it can remove the need for human labor and therefore break our slavery towards a monetary system and its lords, no one need belong to another or waste their lives away doing work they don't like. The accent can go on fulfilment and pleasure instead of on duty and survival. But this takes vigilance to see through the illusions of conformity and disillusions of normality, consciousness to act according to the bigger picture, and courage to challenge the old habits passed down unquestioned for generations, so as to bit by bit, paint a new multi-coloured tapestry of humanity, giving people freedom and choice to be themselves and fulfil themselves just for the pure pleasure of being.
This new philosophy, where spirituality and science meet, is taught at international seminars on every continent and is the final ingredient necessary to ignite a personal and global revolution of individuality, freedom, love and respect. It is already sweeping the globe and allowing humanity to transform war into peace, labour into leisure, poverty into fulfilment and money into love. The Raelian revolution is made up of people from all walks of life, from all sexual orientations, from all races, all ages, everyone different and fiercely non conformist, turning everything they touch into fun and pleasure.
Check your old religious writings, check out the latest scientific discoveries, check out the UFOlogical evidence and our bibliography and you will find that they are all increasingly supporting the Raelian Message.
And most important of all, read the book "The Message Given by Extra-Terrestrials" which will revolutionize your thinking, transform your life and which is already changing the world. You can download this book as well as all other books written by Rael for free by clicking here.
Chet Johnson's Grand-Pappy
Published Tuesday, February 15, 2005 by Reynold Thurman.
Chet was kind enough to share with us two rare photos of his Grand-Pappy, Jesse Lee "Doc" Tally, and the angelic Miss Kitty Flowers. Doc played ball from 1914-1950; creator of the famous House of David "Pepper Game"; left-hand slugger, and ace right-hand knuckle ball pitcher. George Anderson said he was the best all around ball player on the club. The lovely Miss Kitty was no slouch on the field either you get my drift. Who is George Anderson?
Finally, here's a group shot of the team discussing the pulchritudinous Miss Kitty Flowers.
Finally, here's a group shot of the team discussing the pulchritudinous Miss Kitty Flowers.
This Month's Interview - Chet Johnson
Published Wednesday, February 09, 2005 by Reynold Thurman.
This month's inside look at SeriouslyWTF author is on Chet "The Jet" Johnson.
Chet is a Capricorn, and avid softball enthusiast, and a eunuch. He's just over 50, medium height (5'8"), a solid 150-160 pounds, straight-but-not-narrow, open minded, and not usually shockable. His modus operandi is, so long as what one does hurts no one else it's probably OK - maybe not something that he would particularly want to do, but so?
One of his strong personal interests is in the complete removal of the male genitals, and the after-effects physically, emotionally, and socially. He's not into any particular "scene" nor is his interest fetishistic. Let's just say that sucking on a few cold ones after the game takes on a new meaning with Chet and the "boys." That's right, in addition to dedicating time to his love of model planes, Chet is into necrophilism. Dead and cold... ummm.
As to sexual orientation, he does not really care who one loves as long as one finds the time and space for it. There is too little love in this world for him to worry about the petty details... His teammates are gay (including his M.D.), lesbian (including his shrink), transgender, transsexual, pansexual (anything that moves...), asexual, over-sexed, under-sexed, and just plain weird. In fact he wouldn't swear that they are all from this planet... Many are even (Gasp!) Hetro.
Chet has no problems dealing with or discussing other lifestyles. Chet's motto, "Just relax and don't worry about it."
Chet is a Capricorn, and avid softball enthusiast, and a eunuch. He's just over 50, medium height (5'8"), a solid 150-160 pounds, straight-but-not-narrow, open minded, and not usually shockable. His modus operandi is, so long as what one does hurts no one else it's probably OK - maybe not something that he would particularly want to do, but so?
One of his strong personal interests is in the complete removal of the male genitals, and the after-effects physically, emotionally, and socially. He's not into any particular "scene" nor is his interest fetishistic. Let's just say that sucking on a few cold ones after the game takes on a new meaning with Chet and the "boys." That's right, in addition to dedicating time to his love of model planes, Chet is into necrophilism. Dead and cold... ummm.
As to sexual orientation, he does not really care who one loves as long as one finds the time and space for it. There is too little love in this world for him to worry about the petty details... His teammates are gay (including his M.D.), lesbian (including his shrink), transgender, transsexual, pansexual (anything that moves...), asexual, over-sexed, under-sexed, and just plain weird. In fact he wouldn't swear that they are all from this planet... Many are even (Gasp!) Hetro.
Chet has no problems dealing with or discussing other lifestyles. Chet's motto, "Just relax and don't worry about it."